Persistence Pays Off: Re-Post 4/25/2006 Shrew

Shrew
Current mood:

indescribable
Category: Life

I am a shrew.

Or at least I have been described as one many times and many ways in the course of my life. It all started when a classmate of mine went out of her way one day to tell me I should watch the movie "10 Things I Hate About You." She said it reminded her of me. Keep in mind this girl was merely an acquaintance, not someone I knew well or spent much time with at all.
So I watched the movie at my earliest convenience, needless to say it was enlightening. I did recognize a few of my own personal characteristics in the rather nastily blunt girl. In the end every thing worked out for her so I just took it in stride and continued on with my life.

Fast forward a few years and I now find myself as a threat to a friend's husband. Basically everytime he gets a little out of hand we gently remind him that he could be married to me, and immediately he straightens up and begins to fly right. Yeah, I think it's funny.

Let's now scroll to a conversation I had earlier this evening with a very good male friend of mine. The general gist of the conversation wasn't important, but here's what you need to know:

Me: "You know you could always marry me. . ."
Him: "At the wedding you'd say 'I do, NOW DIE FUCKER!"
Me: "That's not nice"
Him: "And I'd say 'Please don't kill me"
Me: "At least I know I can make you beg for mercy."

End quotes.

Now, that shouldn't have set so funny with me, as we are good friends and both have a tendency towards not so funny humor. At any rate, it upset me, not because of some latent desire to persue marriage with said individual, because even I am not a masochist of that magnitude, but because of the general "caustic shrew bitch" sentiment behind it.

There seems to be a pattern forming. . .

1. I can't keep guy friends, unless they set off every Gay-dar for 1,000 miles.
2. I am notoriously attracted to unavailable males. (Be it physically, emotionally or psychologically.)
3. The males who mistakenly think they are brave enough to attempt to take me on have a tendency to run faster than eyeliner in the Amazon. And yes it was only ONE guy who called me and I laid the phone down to blow-dry my hair, and promptly forgot he was there. ABANDON SHIP!!!!
4. I give great break up advice. (I can help you dipose of any rubbish hangin about!) As far as ways to make your relationship last? You might as well ask advice from Elizabeth Taylor.
5. I am fully aware that I could chew up the Terminator, and spit him out in lovely bracelet links. . .

But it remains that none of this is intentional, I think it's just me.

Thanks Nana.

You made me this way and now you're not here to reap what you've sown.

For now I will make my peace and realize that as long as the standards stay high and the bullshit is kept to a bare minimum all will be well. Besides there must be someone out there who either doesn't know me by reputation or has a serious desire to be psychologically maimed. . .

A girl can dream can't she?

PS: I choose to congratulate myself on a blog NOT inspired by Tara.